don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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