last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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