Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
