2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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