who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
