He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
