You don't have asthma, your pregnant
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You pole danced in your parka.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize