Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
