Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
