sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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