Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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