Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
His nipple licking is glorious
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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