ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
