First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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