the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
