forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize