She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
