i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have feelings that need drinking.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
