Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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