Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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