i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
