I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
