I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
