where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize