Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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