I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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