we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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