And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize