We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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