halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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