if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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