i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This house was built for laser tag.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
