so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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