take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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