At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
