the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
