i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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