Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize