do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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