NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize