ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
