You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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