spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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