He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
