mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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