I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
