i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
