he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
