Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
