tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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