If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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