last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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