do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
