I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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