I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
