I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
