i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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