I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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