Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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