so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
