ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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