I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
