the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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