quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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