I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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