I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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