I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
