he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
