It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
