Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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