U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
