I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
