whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize