True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Still dying that you shit outside
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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