return my video game
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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