He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
